I just want things to improve in my life.

-Is it so hard to want for better? I feel like I have been trying and trying...I dont know why I feel overwhelmed lately-I mean I know one thing-bankruptcy-which is scary. But what is even scarier, is the letters and phone calls constantly hounding me.
I had to reschedule with the lawyer for next week, and I have been calling the collectors to inform them of the situation. So I am attempting to follow through with everything in the proper way.
-I just want a normal life again, and i want to feel like I will be somebody better after this is all done. I feel like it just takes the life away from me, almost like the looking-over-your-shoulder feeling. Like at any moment someone will come and take your life away(in court).

Aside from all of this, I had a lovely three day weekend. Thursday i went to see Rancid at Summerfest. Bumped into Kate for the first time in awhile, all was calm and civil and we did some catching up. Later my freind Karen asked me if it was weird to see her, and I told her not at all. Yes the first few months last year were hard, and we did not speak for some time. But we have moved foward in our lives, and I want us to remain freinds. Besides- it was Jay that found her in the front while he was looking for people he would know-I came back from a trip to the restroom to see him and Kate talking and hanging out, and we all talked and had a good time.
-Friday I just stayed home and did nothing.
Saturday was better, I got paid, so I went to the bank. Met my freind(and hopeful future roommate Sarah) down at the Downtown bookstore. We did a little shopping(I bought some VHS tapes and a book for Jay, she got a top at Rainbow), then we went apartment shopping together...we called a few places, and one place Sarah is going to be looking at today. We then ended the day eating Chinese food and drinking PBRs while watching Dukes of Hazard(the movie). I fell asleep at 845.

As for this week...lots of phone calls, hopefully meeting with the lawyer this week...we shall see which way the road turns.

Hey Big Spender-Spend a little time with a lawyer!

Sorry to cop out a line from Chicago-that is from 'chicago' the musical right?
Anyhoo-I meet with the lawyer this week, a bit nervous as I don't feel totally prepared. I will call him once more before we meet on Friday.

The show this week sucked-rain made less people show, not to mention I didn't feel like I did a good job at all. We have a meeting next week to discuss everything that happened-but July should be great- we are having Clownvis host our show...more on that later.

Worked a show with Jay at Zad's Roadhouse-was alot of fun, and thankfully it ended early enough.
I had to work all day today at JCC, also applied for more jobs...but what is the point...seriously?
No one is biting-I think my resume needs a makeover.

Quick Blurbs on Life for Me.

-Jay came home-sadly his grandfather went into the hospital when he came back. Had to go to Iowa Wednesday, his grandad passed away Thursday.
-Friday I did alot of stuff-continued the odyssey that is painting my room. I got more done, but there are two walls that I have to wait on; one that is damaged and one that is in a odd alcove shape. So I will embark on those likely soon. Later I went to Jay's, then later he came over and we watched Desperately Seeking Susan-which he had never seen. He liked it.
Saturday we spent running around, later that night we went out and did kareoke. Then we went to his freind Nikki' s party-we had WOP which is some strong stuff...I think i had like three sips of it before I put it down.
I didn't sleep too well last night, went home this morning about 6am-ate some breakfast and had a BOOST drink(was a little hungover); woke up at 9am took a shower then went to work.

tonite-hopefully will get to Jay's graduation party after work, if I can get a ride.
(crosses fingers).

Jay in Paris, Me in sad land

Fall of 2010, I am going to graduate school at UW-Madison.
In the meantime I am going to go to Kaplan College to get a Medical tech certification-
Either that or move to Madison and get a better job.

Whichever happens first.

I called Jay today, he was at the Notre Dame Catherdral! He said it was beyond beautiful, I was getting all happy hearing his voice when the call got interupted by some stupid recording. I tried calling again( was using a international calling card), and it said 'cannot be reached at this time-please dial the number and try again.' OOOH!!!

I cannot wait for him to come home, then summer will really start!

And as far as the current job goes, well I keep holding out for something better to come along.
But how much more can I hold out?
If I have not gotten a better job by the end of the summer, I am quitting.
And I do not care if I have nothing lined up, school will be my job.

New show on the 19th, meeting tomorrow with the troupe. Going over the choreography at Raven's tonite. Doing two 80's themed numbers!

That is all.

You Likea Me like I Likea U

I am having a 'tardo day. No-not some cool new gaming character, but like 'retarded' just shortened.
I stuffed envelopes with half of their needed letters at work today, I seemed to be acting weird, like I had a sugar rush or something. I blame the Baby Ruth-I hardly ever eat those things.
My back right tooth is rotting-I am not kidding! I need to see a dentist, but how the bloody hell can I do that with what peanuts I am making at my job.

I am going to quit soon, going back to school, and moving on from this hell I live in.
The only good things in my life are my family, freinds, wonderful boyfreind(he comes home from Paris on the 9th!!!) And my lovely burlesque troupe!


That is me with the red wig on-my real hair pissed me off when it didn't set the nite before!
We are really picking up gigs and opportunites! My next two numbers involve 80's songs by Van Halen and Billy Idol. I am excited!